Meeting
The Elsinore Songbook
My tablet! Meet it is I write it down…
Hamlet
These lyrics were written and performed by delegates to the Dyalog User Meeting in Elsinore, Denmark in October 2006 to melodies kindly supplied by the convenors.
Our weblog has links to video recordings of the performances.
“My boss is waiting”
Lyrics: Blue Goat (Ralph, Kimmo L., Mustafa, Gitte)
Melody: O Sole Mio
My boss is waiting and it’s close to deadline I have this problem that’s really geeky I must do something get a quick solution to see some smiling faces in the morning My only rescue, my secret joy Oh APL you are there for me for me and for all the others who know your secrets who know you well we know your secrets and all your wealth
“That first day I saw APL”
Lyrics: Yellow Goat
Melody: Tango Jalousie
That first day I saw APL I knew then that all would be well I was rotated, transfigured and transposed My programs were poems, no longer prose That first day I saw APL All I wanted to do was to write We all stayed up later To write operators That first day I saw APL
©Yellow Goat Music, 2006
“I could write code all night”
Lyrics: Blue Horses (couldn’t drag us away)
Melody: I could have danced all night
I could write code all night
I could write code all night
And still have bugs and more
I could have saved the code
Before I did that )load
And then lost hours of work
I’ll never know what made me type that line in
Why all at once my code took flight
I only know that when
I started APL
I could write code, code, code — all night
“Arrays that made us free”
Lyrics: Purple Horse
Melody: Toreador
Coding solutions used to be a bore It made us snore Was such a chore Iverson, inspired by the Lord Started to write on his board… A notation short and sweet That does much more Now jobs don’t go offshore Terse formulations are our kind of style Some find it vile We only smile C, in use for years in 1973 Simply should never be With the other scalar crap Not hard to see Arrays that made us free.
With apologies to Georges Bizet
“Like a star in the sky”
Lyrics: Green Horse
Melody: Tango Jalousie
APL seems like a star in the sky Which makes our mind soar so high I thought about the course of my hazzling life And search for the reason for being there Perhaps to be a coder on the sea There was a bug that sounds like a melodie But suddenly I see an array of shooting stars Was it heaven or version eleven?
“All my ops are slow”
Lyrics: Blue Cow
Melody: Mein Herr. Marquis
All my ops are slow Who can help me out I need some help – for sure Clients start to go Who can help me out I need some help – for sure I tried using Oracle – NO! Ha-ha-ha I tried using SAP – TOO! Ha-ha-ha HUM HUM HUM … … … Now I’m using APL All is working YES YES YES [Repeat to the END]
“And Each and Or…”
Lyrics: Pink Goat
Melody: Toreador
Alpha, Omega Epsilon and Rho It all sounds like Greek, unless you are a Pro! Functions returning functions… Always… something new! How will we cope with this What can we do… We need a drink or TWO Upgrade or Downgrade, Scan or Domino It all sounds like Geek unless you’re in the know Classes and Fields and Triggers… Always … something new! But we will cope with this We always do… After a drink or two….
“Requirements have changed again!”
Lyrics: Red Goat
Melody: Mein Herr Marquis
Client comes to us Business in a mess “Requirements have changed again!” Client do not fuss APL is best We’ll jointly see this through You need to consider our fee And forget any grand strategy Your problems may all come in threes Arrays of thought take each of those Agile interpretation is the way! Agile interpretation is the way! Iota, Rotate or Transpose will lead your client to repose COBOL & LISP?.. AH-HA-HA FORTRAN, JAVA? AH-HA-HA 4GL, C? AH-HA-HA C# or VB!? AH-HA-HA HA! [REPEAT] You’ve come to the right place (now please) sign here!
“I could have danced all night”
Lyrics: Yellow Cow
Melody: I could have danced all night
I could have danced all night But chose APL to write And still I beg for more APL scanned my string And did a thousand things That never worked before I think I know – what makes it so – exciting from APL, I take a byte I only know – that it – began to work for me And now I A—P—L All night
“My wife has dropped me”
Lyrics: Purple Cow
Melody: O sole mio
My wife has dropped me, → to my best friend. My colleagues shun me, my life is near its →0 I’ve sunk to C sharp and I work for Enron, there is no ending to the pain I suffer. But there is Dyalog, it is my life. I ↓ drop my problems, ↑ back my life. And soon I’ll have Eleven Oh Happy Day :With Dyalog!
Pronunciation: →
, ‘branching’; →0
‘end’;
↓
‘drop’; ↑
‘take’.