Meeting

The Elsinore Songbook

My tablet! Meet it is I write it down…

Hamlet

These lyrics were written and performed by delegates to the Dyalog User Meeting in Elsinore, Denmark in October 2006 to melodies kindly supplied by the convenors.

Our weblog has links to video recordings of the performances.

“My boss is waiting”

Lyrics: Blue Goat (Ralph, Kimmo L., Mustafa, Gitte)

Melody: O Sole Mio

My boss is waiting
and it’s close to deadline
I have this problem
that’s really geeky
I must do something
get a quick solution
to see some smiling faces in the morning

My only rescue, my secret joy
Oh APL you
are there for me
for me and for all the others
who know your secrets
who know you well
we know your secrets
and all your wealth

“That first day I saw APL”

Lyrics: Yellow Goat

Melody: Tango Jalousie

That first day I saw APL
I knew then that all would be well
I was rotated, transfigured and transposed
My programs were poems, no longer prose

That first day I saw APL
All I wanted to do was to write
We all stayed up later
To write operators
That first day I saw APL

©Yellow Goat Music, 2006

“I could write code all night”

Lyrics: Blue Horses (couldn’t drag us away)

Melody: I could have danced all night

I could write code all night
I could write code all night
And still have bugs and more

I could have saved the code
Before I did that )load
And then lost hours of work

I’ll never know what made me type that line in
Why all at once my code took flight

I only know that when
I started APL

I could write code, code, code — all night

“Arrays that made us free”

Lyrics: Purple Horse

Melody: Toreador

Coding solutions used to be a bore
It made us snore
Was such a chore

Iverson, inspired by the Lord
Started to write on his board…

A notation short and sweet
That does much more
Now jobs don’t go offshore

Terse formulations are our kind of style
Some find it vile
We only smile

C, in use for years in 1973
Simply should never be

With the other scalar crap
Not hard to see
Arrays that made us free. 

With apologies to Georges Bizet

“Like a star in the sky”

Lyrics: Green Horse

Melody: Tango Jalousie

APL seems like a star in the sky
Which makes our mind soar so high
I thought about the course of my hazzling life
And search for the reason for being there

Perhaps to be a coder on the sea
There was a bug that sounds like a melodie

But suddenly I see an array of shooting stars
Was it heaven or version eleven?

“All my ops are slow”

Lyrics: Blue Cow

Melody: Mein Herr. Marquis

All my ops are slow
Who can help me out
I need some help – for sure
Clients start to go
Who can help me out
I need some help – for sure

I tried using Oracle – NO! Ha-ha-ha
I tried using SAP – TOO! Ha-ha-ha

HUM HUM HUM
…
…
…
Now I’m using APL
All is working YES YES YES
[Repeat to the END]

“And Each and Or…”

Lyrics: Pink Goat

Melody: Toreador

Alpha, Omega Epsilon and Rho
It all sounds like Greek, unless you are a Pro!
Functions returning functions…
Always… something new!
How will we cope with this
What can we do…
We need a drink or TWO

Upgrade or Downgrade, Scan or Domino
It all sounds like Geek unless you’re in the know
Classes and Fields and Triggers…
Always … something new!
But we will cope with this
We always do…
After a drink or two….

“Requirements have changed again!”

Lyrics: Red Goat

Melody: Mein Herr Marquis

Client comes to us
Business in a mess
“Requirements have changed again!”

Client do not fuss
APL is best
We’ll jointly see this through

You need to consider our fee
And forget any grand strategy

Your problems may all come in threes
Arrays of thought take each of those
Agile interpretation is the way!
Agile interpretation is the way!
Iota, Rotate or Transpose
will lead your client to repose

COBOL & LISP?.. AH-HA-HA
FORTRAN, JAVA? AH-HA-HA
4GL, C? AH-HA-HA
C# or VB!? AH-HA-HA HA!

[REPEAT]

You’ve come to the right place
(now please) sign here!

“I could have danced all night”

Lyrics: Yellow Cow

Melody: I could have danced all night

I could have danced all night
But chose APL to write
And still I beg for more

APL scanned my string
And did a thousand things
That never worked before

I think I know – what makes it so – exciting
from APL, I take a byte
I only know – that it – began to work for me

And now I A—P—L
All night

“My wife has dropped me”

Lyrics: Purple Cow

Melody: O sole mio

My wife has dropped me,
→ to my best friend.
My colleagues shun me,
my life is near its →0

I’ve sunk to C sharp
and I work for Enron,
there is no ending
to the pain I suffer.

But there is Dyalog,
it is my life.
I ↓ drop my problems,
↑ back my life.

And soon I’ll have Eleven
Oh Happy Day
:With Dyalog!

Pronunciation: →, ‘branching’; →0 ‘end’; ↓ ‘drop’; ↑ ‘take’.